I just finished my interview and my stomach is still in knots. I got nervous. I think it went ok, but I kept using the term "kids" instead of "children" by accident. I was trained well in college to say the correct thing and I've lost the habit. I think I may have sounded a little unprofessional because of it. She seemed to like the answers I gave, though. She said she has a couple more interviews and needs to check my references and she'll call back within a couple of days. I forgot how nerve-racking this is.

Sweet Dreams

Dreams are so intriguing to me. Ever since my dad passed away I've dreamt that he wasn't actually gone and he comes back to life and I get to see him again. These dreams always make me so happy and then so sad when I wake up. The irony is that in the days and weeks after he passed I kept wishing it was all a dream and that I'd wake up to find him alive. Now I find him alive in my dreams.
I don't know what it means, though. Can souls who have passed and souls that are still here still interact through dreams? Are dreams our common place? Or is this just my subconscious wishing?
My dad was in my dream last night, and although things that were said between us were vague, his presence was consoling with both what was happening in the dream and something that has been bothering me in real life too.
I wish I knew what dreams were. I wish I knew if they were just explained through science, or if there is some depth to them that as humans we can't grasp. I've had some pretty intense things happen to me while dreaming and even when I am half dreaming, like sleep paralysis . I used to have the paralysis happen to me almost nightly for a while and it was terrifying. Although it's explained as something quite normal, it only happened when I lived with Scott and Shaun and that house on Collingwood Street; a house where really weird things happened. It made it feel less normal.
In the Bible God would communicate with people through dreams, which makes me believe there is something more to them than just neurology. I could easily link my dad being alive in my dreams to when God renews life and creates a new world. It almost seems to easy to make that connection, though.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I really want to know what other people think.

Frappuccino and Daycares

We had someone coming to look at our apartment this afternoon so, instead of making the potential tenant feel awkward about opening up closets, I decided to leave. Since our apartment is a greenhouse and it's a nice sunny day, I walked down to English Bay Beach. I stopped to look at some clothes at a couple shops a long the way. I'm not usually a Starbucks customer, and although there is one on almost every corner here, I haven't bought into the craze. Today though, I was enticed by them to try their banana coconut frappuccino. So I went in, feeling quite out of place with my casual jogging shorts and out-of-style shirt and ordered my "tall banana-coconut frap" and walked down to the beach. I enjoyed the first few sips of it and the whipped cream with coconut flakes on top. I sat on a bench in the shade for a while since I wasn't wearing sunscreen and sipped on my cold drink. I started to feel a little cool from the breeze off the ocean, though, and decided to go home. As I was walking my stomach started to feel uncomfortable and my drink had lost it's appeal. I paid $4 for a stomach ache and a bad taste in mouth.

In other news, I applied for a position at a daycare in Edmonton today. It's an idea I've been toying with for a while now, but I'm quite intimidated by the thought of being back in a daycare since I've had very little exposure to kids in the last 2 years. I decided it was worth a shot since it would give me a normal Monday to Friday schedule and the money would be better. Besides, it's much more rewarding to work with kids than to sell china. I told them I'd be available at the end of August since we'll be visiting Ontario the third week and I need to re-take my first aid and cpr. Because of that I'm not really expecting to hear back from them, but at the same time I have the highest level of training for Alberta standards and they might really want me because of that. We'll see what happens. Pray that the right thing will happen for me.

I've started setting aside things that we don't want or need and I've organized as much as I can before we have a new address in Edmonton. We had our first potential tenant come in to look at our apartment today so now begins the craziness of constantly keeping this place spic and span...no slacking for me! Hopefully someone rents it soon so we can relax and I don't have to worry about messes as I go through junk. Our property manager told us that she wants to replace our carpet which thrills me because then we don't have to get it cleaned.

Something I'm looking forward to in Edmonton is no more humidity! It's nowhere near as humid as Ontario, but still not exactly comfortable. The sun heats up the apartment in the mornings and it stays warm for most of the day.

Yesterday we went to Third Beach, my favourite beach here, and found out that there isn't much to do when the water is cold. We didn't have books, which would have been nice, so we just lay under our little beach tent for a while. We did go down to the water (quite a walk at low tide!) and walked in to our knees. It was pretty cold, though.

We were pretty sad about the Oilers losing last night. As dissapointed as I was about the loss, I was more upset for Scott and the team itself for how they were feeling. Let's face it, I've only been a fan for 5 years and Scott's been bleeding Oiler blue for most of his life. I wanted them to win for him. At least in a week or so Scott, the Oilers, and the rest of the fans will be able to appreciate how amazing the run was and that they get another shot at it next season. So I've put my jersey away for the next 3 months and craziness will start again.

Now that the play offs are done our life will go back to normal. Or at least as normal as it can be with a big moving coming up in a few weeks. We're really excited about getting there. The preparations can be a little hectic, but it'll all work out. We know when we're moving so now we just have to book movers, carpet cleaners, buy plane tickets, get rid of some of our stuff, and cancel services. Lots to do, but I'm up for the challenge. The good thing is that as much as it's all going to cost us, Edmonton is a cheaper city so things will feel nicer when we get there.

I'm really glad to be moving during the summer so that we have good weather. Summer doesn't last too long in Northern Alberta, but it'll be nice to get some time to get outside and enjoy what's left of it. I haven't been there in the winter yet, so I don't really know what to expect. Apparently the cold is a dry cold so it's not as bad as the wet cold of the east. Also, the sun is often out in the winter to brighten the day.

Holy smokes. So we're moving to Edmonton in about 6 weeks. Scott found out yesterday and came to give me the news of his transfer at work. Needless to say, I was pretty excited. My mind is going crazy with all the stuff that needs to be done and I can't wait to get started on everything. I love arranging the movers, looking for apartments and buying plane tickets. The only part I don't look forward to is spending all the money and the packing. But even part of me is looking forward to that. I already have moving companies calling me to offer free quotes (I requested them, of course)and trying to get our business.

I don't know a lot yet. I think my last day of work will be July 19th and we'll move as close to July 31st as possible. I'll post more once I know more details. This is very exciting. Too bad we can't be there for Saturday night!

Passion

(I know, it's a dorky picture)

We eat, sleep, and breathe hockey here in the Feenstra residence, but more specifically it's the Edmonton Oilers. It wasn't always that way for me, though, I have Scott to thank for introducing this kind of passion to me.

I grew up in a family where we'd watch Hockey Night in Canada every Saturday night. We'd go to the evening mass and usually my cousins would come over after and we'd watch what was left of the game. I watched a lot of Toronto games since they were the early ones, but I didn't care for them. In fact, I'm still somewhat indifferent to the Leafs. My cousins were Montreal fans and I remember really disliking them. I don't really have a reason, I just remember my friend and I talking about the Canadiens and discussing what a poor team they were. It's probably because we didn't think there were enough cute boys on the team. I may have been young, but I never went through the "boys are gross" stage.

So I grew up watching hockey, but never really had a favourite team. At one point I liked the Flames, but I think it was because my sister claimed to like them (I'm sure it also had to do with a boy she liked), but she doesn't care for hockey now. I found myself cheering for the team who was losing quite often too, so who I cheered for often changed. In grade 4 I had a big crush on Jacob Murphy and he liked the Oilers so my allegiance went there for a while then. That's when they were in their glory days, but I wasn't as aware of that then.

Scott and I met when I went to hang out with his then housemate, Shaun, an avid Leafs fan. It was during the 2001 play offs and Toronto was playing New Jersey. I didn't really care about the series, but it was fun to watch hockey with people, especially Shaun because he gets a little crazy watching Toronto. Scott, of course, was an Oilers fan, and didn't care about the Toronto/New Jersey game either, but he watched a bit of the games with us. When New Jersey made it to the final against Colorado, Scott and I made a bet on the outcome. I bet on New Jersey, and he was convinced that Colorado would win. He was right, of course and I was out some money. Scott and I quickly became friends and when I lived with him and Shaun I started listening to and watching games with Scott. His passion and excitement was infectious so it was hard not to cheer for the Oilers for him and see him so elated when they won. I started to get to know the players and the coaching staff, to understand the game better, and to know the rivalries. Before long, I was also a massive fan. It was exciting hockey, the team was passionate, hard-working, and determined. They didn't do very well the first few years that I liked them, but they still played great, exciting hockey. Once Scott and I started dating and I moved out, it became even more fun. We'd meet to watch games and we really bonded over the experiences. I think it was 2002 when I got to go to my first game. Scott, his parents, and I went to Ottawa when the Oilers were in town and we went down to ice level to watch the pre-game skate and I got to see all the faces of the men I'd heard so much about. At the time I really liked Ryan Smyth and Shaun Horcoff. I was so thrilled when after the skate Ryan Smyth scooped up some pucks and threw them over the glass for fans. He does this at every game; usually he throws them to kids, but I don't think there were any around me so I caught it and had an awesome souvenir from my first game. They went on to win that night too. What a great first experience.

I don't think there's any turning back for me now. I'm hooked. I can't believe I missed out on all this excitment before I met Scott! I can't wait to live in Edmonton one day and we'll likely have a package deal of going to a bunch of games, and we'll be able to watch all the games on TV if we're not there. And the pay-per-view games that won't be on TV, we can watch at the movie theatre. Isn't that cool?!

You know where I'll be at 8pm ET tonight. We'll be here cheering on our team and hoping they can win, fight through the adversity that they've faced and win the Stanley Cup. It's so close.

Once again, I say I'd like to be paid to be a housewife instead of a sales associate.

This morning I woke up with a stomach ache before I had to go to work. It's something that has plagued me all my life. When I get up a little earlier than usual, my body protests and tries to come up with ways to make me go back to bed. Sometimes it works. In most cases, though, if I just put up with it I feel better within a couple of hours. This morning was one of the times I decided to suffer through it. I knew I'd feel better a little later so there was no point in staying home because I'd end up feeling guilty if I didn't continue to have a stomach ache all day. So I had just a piece of toast for breakfast and took the bus instead of walk.

It turns out I should have just stayed home. Work was ridiculously busy for a Monday and it seemed like it was one problem after another. On top of that, customers were somewhat nasty today and I didn't enjoy myself. My dept. head was supposed to work today, but she sprained her ankle on her way to work so we were short-staffed for a while and I didn't get to take my break for a long time. Since I only had a slice of dry toast for breakfast I was feeling a little weak by the time I finally got to eat something. My boss asked me if I could cover the shift tomorrow since the woman with the sprained ankle likely wouldn't be well enough to work, and I said yes. I have a lot of errands and other things that I need to do on my day off, but I didn't think it would be a big deal because I thought I had Wednesday off. I was wrong and I don't get day off until Friday. Not a huge deal, but a long time to put off the things that I need to do and possibly difficult to fit them in.

Right now I'm waiting for my soup to cool off enough so I can put it in the fridge. Scott was saying how he wanted some nice home-cooked meals this week so I made a big pot of beef vegetable soup in the slow-cooker (I actually did it a little faster on high during the hockey game) and he can have it for supper tomorrow when I'm still at work.

I'm tired already.

The FDA has just approved a vaccine for cervical cancer in the US. It works by protecting women from HPV, a virus that can lead to the cancer. Apparently their targeted demographic is women/girls between the ages of 9-26. I don't see any reason why Canada won't eventually follow suit within a few years either. On the MSN website there was a link to an article about it and a discussion started on whether people will want their daughters vaccinated. I'm not sure what to say about it, I haven't thought about it much.
In an ideal world, if we have daughters they will only be intimate with their husbands and their husband only with them, but that may be naive to believe that will happen (although we'll still encourage that in our children). On the other hand, I don't want my daughters to have cancer and if I could prevent it, I would want to. But does a vaccination lead to a false sense of security in people? What about all the other STD's that are out there? It just seems like people are constantly looking for ways to allow them to be more irresponsible. No one wants consequences.
How do you feel about it?

I'm going to be all alone in our apartment on Saturday night for the first time since we've lived here when Scott flies to Edmonton to watch the hockey game. I have to work that day (pout) so I'll come home, put on my jersey, order some Thai food, and yell at the TV all by myself. I think it could be fun, I just hope that the outcome is good so Scott really has a lot of fun and gets to celebrate with all the crazy Oilers fans on Whyte Ave. I don't think he'll be burning any telephone booths, though.

On Sunday I'm going to get up and go to church at the Alliance church that I sometimes go to and then I'm not sure what to do. I'm sure at some point I'll end up cleaning cat litter or doing the dishes. Then I'll go to the airport to greet Scott and have some Harvey's. It's the only one I know of so we've made it a bit of a ritual to go there for veggie burgers and onion rings with honey. Or at least that's what I'll get.