Good stuff

Brianna has slept entirely through the night for 2 nights in a row now and this afternoon she fell asleep all by herself without crying. I'm very happy about this. She's also down to nursing at bedtime and in the morning only and there wasn't any stress about losing the other times. After I was stressing about not pushing her she just kind of let go a little. It's funny how that worked out.

I'm also happy that spring is here (again) and the snow is melting (again). Hopefully we've seen the last of the snow and we can stop wearing jackets. Pushing a stroller is really difficult on snowy sidewalks, especially when it warms up a little and it's all heavy and slushy.

We're taking Brianna to Chuck E. Cheese for the first time tomorrow and then going to her fist birthday party on Sunday. Her friend Olivia is turning 1. It's making me excited about her birthday next month.

It's winter here again. We got tons of snow over the weekend and there's still more to come; it's not really welcome. Despite the terrible weather yesterday I went to church with Brianna. I went to the Alliance church here in the west end finally. I put off going because I didn't think I'd like it since it's so huge, but I was pleasantly surprised . I can't really put my finger on why I liked it since I didn't really get to hear much of the message and I didn't really talk to anyone, but there's something nice about it. Brianna was with me for about three quarters of the service and was pretty restless. Eventually an usher approached me and asked me if I'd like her to be in the nursery. I wasn't too sure about it, but once I got her there I felt comfortable with it. They have a good system that made me feel like no strangers were going to steal her so I left her in there. Much to my surprise she didn't mind being left there at all. She was only in there for about 15-20 minutes, but she didn't cry at all. That makes me less scared about putting her in daycare in a month. I'm also glad that I can finally go to church and not stress about her disturbing everyone around us.

nursing

Brianna isn't ready to wean yet and I don't want to push her. She can easily go most of the day without nursing and she can fall asleep without it if we dance with her, but if I don't want to dance with her then nursing is pretty much the only way (aside from taking her for a walk or drive). I'm stressed out because I don't know how things will be for her at the daycare; I don't want it to be difficult for her. My hope is that she will be so tired from all the stimulation and the nap routine will be so different that she will just sleep easily. It will be really hard on me if I can hear her crying and I can't do anything about it. I'm going to nurse her before we go to the daycare and also when we get home. I'm hoping that nursing at different times will help her have her "mommy time" so that she won't feel traumatized. if I wasn't going back to work I wouldn't even be trying to wean. I thought I wanted to wean her, but I don't. I also enjoy the closeness. I wanted to stop sometime in her second year, but my plan was always to make it really gradual so it would be easy on both of us. Hopefully nursing her more when it's not nap time at home will help us both get what we need.

Saturday

Saturdays are always good days for me because Scott gets up with Brianna and takes her out and I have the place to myself. Unfortunately, I often spend it cleaning, but I feel better when it's done and I can relax then. For some reason in my head I had it in my head that I was going to go for a run this morning. The snow was pretty much gone and the days were longer so I thought I could try again. I woke up to a lot of snow and didn't feel up to it anymore though. I still haven't eaten my breakfast and I still could, but it doesn't seem as appealing with all the snow. I'm just really determined to eventually be able to run without wanting to die. It's been a life-long battle between my determination and laziness. So far laziness is winning.

Scott's on holidays next week and it will be really nice to have him around. On Monday I have to have an ultrasound just to make sure that my uterus is clearing out and then Tuesday morning I'm taking Brianna to a sign language and singing group at the library. As soon as that is done we're heading to Calgary to stay at a hotel and go to the zoo. Bree loves animals and I've heard good things about the zoo there. I was pretty disappointed in the one here; it doesn't have very many animals and the ones that are there are living in pretty small areas.