On Friday, May 18th I woke up at 8 am to a phone call from the hospital saying that I could come in for my induction. I was really surprised because my doctor had said that it was quite unlikely that they'd call me since there were a number of women ahead of me who more urgently needed to be induced. I took a shower and got dressed and raced to the hospital. I called Scott on the way to let him know that I would call him when I got home because I was expecting to be given Cervidil, a tampon-like device with prostaglandins to help my cervix ripen since at one week late, my body still had shown no major signs of preparing for labour.
I arrived at the hospital around 9:30 and they did an NST for a while on the baby and checked my cervix. I was actually 1/2 cm dilated. Finally. While the nurse and I were chatting I discovered that I wouldn't actually be able to go home after I was given the dose because I was getting just a straight gel. I would have to lie on my back for an hour while the gel went to work on my cervix and and I'd have to stay so that both the baby and I could be monitored. The nurse also told me that it rarely takes one dose and that I'd likely have to have three every 6 hours. I called Scott again at that point and told him to leave work and go home to get my hospital bag and meet me.
After an uncomfortable hour of lying on my back I moved down to an antenatal room with 3 other women who'd been on bed rest for a while. Scott was with me and we decided to go for lots of walks to help speed things along. I called my doula, Mitzi and told her what was going on, but I wasn't feeling any contractions so she didn't need to come in yet. After 6 hours of reading old magazines and walking the halls of the ward, a nurse came to tell me that it was time for my next dose of gel. They didn't have a bed in the assessment area so I ended up in my own private delivery room while they checked me and gave me the next dose. If I remember correctly, my cervix hadn't changed at all at that point. I was happy that for my second dose of gel it was my actual ob/gyn who was with me. Scott and I both really liked him for his down-to-earth and calming nature. It was the last time I'd see him for the weekend though since it was the Friday evening of a long weekend. He had the weekend off.
After a couple hours of having the second dose I started to have contractions that were painful. I didn't really know what to expect at this point so we called Mitzi and she came in. I became excited then because I figured that these contractions would help my body get ready and then I'd be able to deliver after the 3rd dose. I received that second dose around 6pm and Scott and I continued to do more walking. When I was later checked by a nurse for progress it turned out that I was 2cm. At 10:00, Scott and Mitzi had to leave because I wasn't in my own room and I wasn't dilated enough to go to a delivery room. I told them both that I would likely call them in the night because I was expecting my third dose around midnight. I was upset that I had to be alone, but I wasn't expecting it to be all night.
About an hour after Scott left my contractions started to get really painful and about every 2-3 minutes apart. I told the nurse how I was feeling each time she came in to check my blood pressure and do an NST. She told me that if I could still talk through my contractions then I wasn't ready to go to a delivery room. I was getting progressively more upset as the night went on because I was in quite a bit of pain, I couldn't sleep through my contractions so I was getting tired, and I was alone. I was told that they weren't ready to give me my third dose of gel or even check my cervix because the delivery ward was really busy and no doctors were available to see me. Finally, at about 4am a resident came to see me. He checked my cervix and I was still only 2cm and there was no other change. I couldn't believe it. I was so discouraged, but he told me I'd be checked again in the morning. I was so tired and I just wanted to go to my own delivery room so Scott could be with me. The doctor suggested I take a sleeping pill so I could sleep, but I didn't want anything. I did finally sleep for an hour and a half though. When the nurse came in at 6am on Saturday I asked her when I could have Scott and Mitzi come in and she said they could come at 8am. I called them and let them know. When they finally showed up I had a hard time holding back my tears. I felt like I finally didn't have to be strong anymore because I had Scott with me to take care of me.
Saturday was spent waiting. We didn't know when I was going to be checked again or given the next dose because of the shortage of doctors and how busy it was in the delivery ward. I just kept walking and trying unsuccessfully to sleep. My contractions started petering out as the day went on and I was getting nervous. They went from being strong and 2-3 minutes apart to being weak and about every 10 minutes apart. That afternoon we told Mitzi she may as well go home and we'd call her if things changed.An hour after she left a nurse came and said I had to go upstairs to the other ward because they had a bed for me and they were going to give me my next dose...finally after 24 hours.
When I was finally checked for my progress I was disappointed to find out that I was still just 2cm dilated. My body was just not ready to go into labour. The good news was that my cervix was finally in an anterior position and the baby's head was quite low. The doctor decided I should go on the oxytocin drip at this point. I really wasn't wanting this, but it seemed like I had no other choice with the rate my body was progressing. I just wanted to give birth and leave the hospital. They hooked me up to an IV and I was then finally sent to a delivery room and Scott could stay with me. At about 7pm on the Saturday night, my contractions started to get more painful so we called Mitzi again thinking that it would progress quickly now.
It soon got to the point that I couldn't move or talk during my contractions. I sat on a birthing ball for a few hours in a hot shower. It was pretty much the only thing that helped. I was feeling great in spite of the pain. I thought things had to be progressing now and I felt I was handling the contractions really well. I was breathing through them and I wasn't getting stressed out. I thought I was on my way to having a good delivery soon.
At 4am on Sunday morning a doctor finally came in to check me. Before he came in the nurse said that he'd probably break my water. I told her I really didn't want my water broken because I knew the pain intensity would go up a lot and I didn't want an epidural. She said we should see how dilated I was and then discuss what to do next. Well, I was still just 2cm. I was devastated and discouraged. I couldn't understand why my body wasn't working properly. I was starting to get worried that I would have to have a c-section. It had been 42 hours at that point and I was exhausted both physically and mentally. The doctor came in on his way to doing a c-section for another woman and Scott asked him what he was planning on doing. He said he was going to break my water. I said I didn't want that and he simply responded by saying, "We do it all the time". This wasn't a good response for me and I started to shake uncontrollably. I was upset, I felt backed into a corner. I explained to him that it was too early to have my water broken at only 2cm and I thought it was a bad idea. I told him I wasn't ready for my pain to increase that much that fast and I'd rather wait until my body was closer to giving birth. The doctor kept pressuring me and I felt rushed because he had to go to a c-section. Scott was getting angry with the doctor and wanted to give me a few minutes to think about what I wanted to do. Finally I told him to go ahead. I couldn't handle his pressure and I all I could think was how much longer could I keep going as exhausted as I was and still have the energy to push when I was finally fully dilated. So I gave in. He proceeded to break my water and I asked him to wait until my contraction was done and he kind of smirked and said it was the best time to do it. I took a deep breath and waited until it was over. Everyone, including the doctor and the nurse, told me it wouldn't hurt to have my water broken, but he was so rough. He rushed through the procedure and then left. Immediately I started shaking even more as my adrenaline had hit a high with the sudden decision I had to make and all my emotions were crazy. I started crying as I tried to breathe through the intense contractions (that grew to be about 30 seconds apart) and battled my emotions inside as I contemplated the epidural. Everything was wrong. There was nothing natural about the birth experience at all for me anymore. I was angry that things had gone the way they had, that they left me for 24 hours not really knowing what to expect. I was angry that I had to be left alone for a night without Scott and that my body hadn't just gone into labour on it's own. And lastly, I was angry that the doctor treated me with such little regard towards what I wanted. After 3 contractions I was finally able to tell Scott through my crying that I wanted the epidural. I needed to sleep. I needed the relief from both the pain and the frustration I was feeling with everybody and everything. The anesthesiologist received my order for an epidural at the same time as two other women and he rushed in within minutes to help me before rushing out for the c-section that the doctor was going to. Scott had to hold me as the needle was inserted to try and keep me from shaking too much. I was so upset that things had come to this.
The epidural started to work within minutes and I lay on the bed feeling my body go numb. I finally fell asleep and I woke up around 6am with nurses coming in and out and checking various things with me and the baby. Around 7:30 a nurse checked to see how dilated I was. After everything I had been through I was shocked to hear that I was 9 1/2 cm and there was just a small lip over the baby's head that needed to be freed. She told me to do one push during my next contraction (which I couldn't feel). I did, and then I was 10cm.
I started the rest of the pushing at 8am. I couldn't feel anything and I had to rely on the nurse to tell me when I was contracting. They decided to turn down my epidural and turn up the oxytocin that I still had attached to my IV. Pushing was difficult since I wasn't able to feel anything, but somehow I managed. I was still really tired so in between pushes I just laid back and breathed. It's all I could do. I was getting annoyed by how many people were coming in and out of the room and talking about trivial things amongst themselves while I was trying to give birth. One nurse actually came in and commented on how little progress I had made. Mitzi immediately told me to let the comment go because I was actually doing well. After about an hour and a half of pushing I started to be able to feel the sensations and my pushes were better. I still felt like it was taking too long though. The doctor came in shortly after and I kept pushing until finally her head came out. I tore at that point, but instead of feeling pain I felt extreme relief because it was what allowed her head to come free. I got her shoulders out and the rest of her body followed. I can't describe the feeling that came over me as I felt her leave my body and she was put on my stomach. Scott and I were both overcome with emotions and I have never felt anything similar to that in my life.
Scott and I held her and adored her while they delivered the placenta and stitched me. She latched on and I fed my daughter for the first time and I couldn't wait to be in a room alone with just the three of us.
They normally only allow patients to stay in the delivery room for an hour after the birth, but we were in there for almost 2. It still felt rushed though and there were a lot people coming in and out of the room, but finally I was wheeled up to a room with one other bed in it. The other woman was going home though so I had the room to myself. I was later taken to a completely private room that night.
When I think back to Brianna's birth I still get upset that it was pretty much exactly how I didn't want things to go, with the exception of course, that I gave birth to a beautiful healthy little girl. She was born with scratches on her scalp and I'm convinced it's from the doctor roughly breaking my water. She still has a scar that hasn't completely healed a month later. I really hope that the next time will go better and I'll labour naturally. In retrospect I think that if I had actually waited until the Tuesday after the holiday when the doctor had expected I'd go, I may still have been induced, but it would have gone smoother because my body may have been more ready to work. I know better for next time now.
I am just so thankful that I didn't have a c-section and that Brianna came out without forceps or vacuum and she's healthy and happy. She's such a great baby and we are so happy.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Happy Father's Day
Happy Father's Day to my awesome husband and to all other dads and father-figures out there.
It's been so nice having Scott home to bond with Brianna and help me with this whole parenting thing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)