Jordan's Birth

I thought I should write about when Jordan came into the world before I forget. It's been 9 weeks now.

When I was a week over-due I went to the hospital for a routine ultrasound; they do this with all women as they go past their date to make sure the baby is still thriving. I wasn't worried because I was feeling a lot of movement and I was told that the biggest concern would be how much water was left. I figured if there was enough water he would have enough space to move. I was wrong about that. He was moving enough and his muscle tone seemed great, but there wasn't enough amniotic fluid. The lady doing the ultrasound told me I would have to be admitted. I was really surprised. I hadn't brought anything with me and I had the car, which meant that Scott would have to find a way to get Brianna to my brother's and then find his way to the hospital. I fought back tears at this point because aside from the technicalities, the doctors would want to induce me and I was determined not to go down that road this time.

I walked down the hall and was told to wait for a doctor to assess me. I called Scott and my midwife (Karen) while I waited and Scott made arrangements to come see me and bring everything I needed. After a few hours of being in the hospital I was finally told that they'd like to induce me with oxytocin, but they didn't have enough staff so they sent me home. Karen was frustrated because she knew she could safely deliver the baby at the hospital and that staff would then not be an issue. The attending doctor that was on-call that evening, though, was not going to let her take care of me. She sent me home after doing a membrane sweep and gave me a list of other things that may help me go into labour on my own. So I went, and anticipated the call the next day to say they could take me in labour and delivery.

After calling the hospital a few times myself, I finally heard from them the next afternoon. It was about 2:00 in the afternoon when we took Brianna back to my brothers and I mentioned to Scott that I thought my contractions were becoming more regular; about 7 minutes apart, but not too strong. We arrived at the hospital and waited again to be assessed. Once again, though, I was told that they couldn't do anything that night. They said I could stay the night and wait to be induced in the morning or go home and come back. We were getting frustrated and I decided to just stay there. Scott was surprised that I wanted to sleep there if I didn't have to, but I was so tired of going back and forth and I had a feeling that I was going to go into labour on my own. The OB on duty that night was different and we explained to her that it was really important that our midwife do the delivery. She was very understanding, but she said that if I was induced then the care would be transferred to a doctor. I asked if I could still have Karen do the delivery if I went on my own and she said that she would be okay with it. That gave me hope, but I knew it had to happen before 7am the next morning when the other doctor that wouldn't allow it would be back. I called Karen to give her an update and hung out with Scott until 10pm. My contractions were getting stronger when he left so I'm not sure why I sent him away, but I told him to expect a call. I tried to sleep after and then around midnight I woke up with some pretty serious contractions about 3 minutes apart. I couldn't find the page button on my bed so I got up and hobbled to the nurse's station to get a doctor. The resident came to check me and said I wasn't in true labour, but I called Karen and Scott because I knew it was real and I didn't want to be alone. Karen suggested I get in the shower to help the pain. I got in there to wait until Scott came and let the hot water wash over me. I found the spray really irritating on my stomach during contractions, but it felt good on my back where I was also really feeling them. I just put a hot wash cloth on my stomach during contractions. When Scott arrived they decided to take me to a delivery room. Karen had just arrived then too and we were all glad that she would be the one doing the delivery if the baby seemed fine. I just had to have a fetal monitor strapped to me the whole time.

I was having a really hard time with the back labour so Karen had me get on all fours and drape my arms over the back of the bed to take the pressure off. During each contraction either she or Scott would put counter-pressure on my hips to help alleviate some of the pain. It helped a little, but only if they put their hands on me at the beginning of the contraction. If they touched me after it started to rise I couldn't stand it.

The hours went by slowly after that, but things were progressing pretty well. Every once in a while my contractions would slow down and we'd have to change positions for a while. Jordan was facing the wrong way and wasn't putting enough pressure on my cervix so the last few centimetres were difficult. We talked about breaking my water. It was going to have to be done so they could check for meconium in the fluid (something that would require a transfer to a doctor), but I was apprehensive because when my water was broken with Brianna my coping skills went out the window and I didn't want that to happen again. I knew that I was prolonging the inevitable though. I think it was around 7 in the morning that I finally let her break my water. I was happy that the pain didn't increase dramatically right away, but the contractions deifinitely got stronger. But still, the last 2 cm were just not getting there. Karen even tried to manually turn Jordan around, but he didn't stay. After Karen broke my water she called Mico, the midwife for Jordan, and my contractions continued to get stronger and more intense. They convinced me to move into the bathroom and sit on the toilet to open up my pelvis. I sat there for a few contractions and was having a really hard time. I kept breathing through each one, but I said I didn't think I could do it anymore. Karen said that's what women say just before they deliver their babies. I was scared, though, and even though I had a slight urge to push I didn't want to continue. I got back to the bed on my hands and knees and pushed a little. Karen didn't know that I was pushing yet, but with that little push I couldn't control it after that. She hadn't had a chance to check my dilation yet, but my body was ready. It was intense, scary and painful and could only look inside myself for the strength because nobody could do it except me. I was determined to get through the next phase quickly, though, so I gave it all that I had. After 15 minutes Jordan was born at 9:42am and I was exhausted. Everyone was proud of me because I finally had the birth I wanted and I did really well, apparently. I was just glad it was over.

Jordan Rain was a beautiful, healthy, chubby 9 lb 6 oz little boy and it felt wonderful to finally hold him and nurse him. I am proud of myself for having the natural birth I wanted. It took me a while to feel that way, though, since it was obviously more intense than Brianna's birth. Right afterward I said I wasn't sure if I would go naturally again because I really didn't like the pushing phase like most women do, but I've gotten to the point now that I can appreciate it more. I'm just glad it wasn't 2 hours again this time!

I'm feeling a little moody these days...

I'm now a week away from my due date and I've sort of calmed down a little. Last week I went into panic mode thinking this little guy was going to arrive early, but who am I kidding? He'll be late. I see the midwife tomorrow and maybe she'll have an idea. Or not.
Today for some reason I looked at his little clothes arranged in his dresser and smelled them (I don't know what possessed me) and they smelled like a dirty, old musky basement and I was suddenly really upset. The dresser came from a basement and the smell hasn't disappeared like I thought it would. I took everything out of it and told Scott we're simply going to have to get a new dresser (hopefully I can find one for a decent price that's new, or in good condition and not stinky. I have a lead at United Furniture Warehouse). I freaked out just before Brianna was born too, about cat hair. I almost got rid of our cats because there was too much hair that I couldn't get rid of. Maybe it's normal to suddenly get irrational about things at this stage in pregnancy, or maybe it's just me.
I'm also at that point in the pregnancy that I'm feeling quite ready to be comfortable again. I've had a pretty easy go of things this time around (and with Bree too), but it's difficult sleeping and I want normal clothes again.
Hopefully by sometime next week, though, we'll have our new little son and I can become rational and less moody....or just more so, we'll see. At least I'll be bale to sleep on my stomach again!

Getting excited about Christmas...

I've been really excited about Christmas since the summer this year. It's so exciting now that Brianna is old enough to get excited about it and it's made it so much more magical for me. I'm looking forward to all the festivities that happen and also to finally spending Christmas with our families! We're going to the Santa Claus parade on Saturday which should be great. She really likes Christmas decorations (much better than the Halloween ones that made her a little nervous) and the fact that the floats will be lit up will make it even better. The parade in Edmonton was actually kind of a disappointment which surprised me since it was a big city. They did it inside the City Centre Mall Which has a series of pedways connecting it all around the downtown) since it's usually so cold outside and instead of floats they had people pulling wagons. It didn't have the same appeal for me.

I think I've also convinced Scott to go to Upper Canada Village some night for their light festival. They have all sorts of children's activities and neat things to see. Scott's not excited, but I think Bree (and I) will really like it.

We won't put our tree up right away in December, but Scott is talking about putting up a few lights outside and I bought a little Fisher Price Little People nativity that Brianna can play with (but it has to stay in the same spot!). I like the idea of having a little nativity that the kids get excited about seeing every year when it comes out. I always liked the nativity that my parents displayed, but we weren't allowed to touch it.

Aside from the commercial side of Christmas, which I won't deny that I enjoy, I've been trying to get Brianna to think about the importance of giving to people in need. We've been talking a lot about what we have and some people don't and she got really into the Operation Christmas Child shoebox. She's been talking a lot about "the little girl that's far away" that will get the box with everything we put in it. I also want to get an advent wreath and read stories and reflections every week and start that tradition. It's something that I always liked as a little girl too.

friends

This morning I was doing some housework while Brianna was playing in her bedroom alone. She often wants me to play with her instead of cleaning and I usually try to get through my chores quickly so I don't feel so guilty. Today she had her door closed and she had Tyke, one our cats in there with her. She loves to have him trapped in there, but he doesn't enjoy it so much. I usually allow it until I hear her chasing him into a corner yelling at him. I had an armload of her toys and I opened her door to put them in there. Tyke was out the door as soon as there was space for him to squeeze through. Brianna all of a sudden had her bottom lip out and tears in her eyes and she said, "I need Tyke to come back in here because he's my friend!" She said this which such earnest in her voice that I felt kind of bad, but then, wiping her tears away and trying not to cry she said, "maybe you can be my friend now, Mommy." Let the guilt trip begin!

7 months, 5 days

March 28th was way too long ago. Time to try this again. I can't promise that I'll be better, but I'll try to do better than 7 months and 5 days.

We're pretty settled at our new home now. I'm happy to have more space and our own yard (even though we don't play in it very often) and it's nice to be somewhere quiet. It isn't my dream home, but I'm happy for now.

I think Brianna misses the daycare and playing with all her friends. She really likes to see her cousin Alexa, who's 4, and sometimes her distant cousin Kristin when I go to the mom's group at the Christian Reform church. We didn't go last week because I was paranoid about all the kids who are sick everywhere and this week is a hymn sing which I'm not into. We'll go back next week, though, and we're immunized now so I won't worry so much. I'm probably worrying more than necessary, but I can't help it with the way the media has gone crazy with everything.

I'm really enjoying getting to know my midwife, Karen; she seems a good fit for me. At the last appointment she asked where we were planning on having the baby and I said hospital, but I'm not really opposed to a home birth either. Scott's always been the one a little more hesitant on that front. It freaks me out a little when I think of the mess (silly, I know) and I'm not sure about Brianna. One the one hand I think it would be great to not have to ship her off to someone's house while I'm in labour, especially if it's the middle of the night. On the other hand, though, if she's here I guess I'd need someone to be with her and I can't think of anyone that I'd feel comfortable asking. The idea of her being here makes me feel better, though. I'm pretty sure that if she wasn't I'd be worried about her. The other thing about a home birth I like is that I can just be in my bed afterward. I hate sleeping in a hospital; it's too noisy, uncomfortable and bright. We'll be going to an information session at the clinic next month. I also like that I don't have to commit to anything right now and I could decide in the middle of everything what I want to do. I suppose I should pre-register at the hospital just in case, though.

I just finished reading the Twilight series and, if you haven't read it, it was very good. I never would have picked it up if Scott hadn't given me the first book for Christmas. Now I'm among the followers. I'm not crazy like some of them , though. Next I have to continue reading my Outlander series since there's a new book due out in the fall. I'm re-reading the first 6 books to refresh my memory. I've never read a book twice before; I never saw a point. I'm absolutely in love with the books, though. For those of you who aren't familiar with them, they are written by Diana Gabaldon. It's a historical fiction (with some romance thrown in for good measure) about a woman who accidentally gets thrown back to 18th century Scotland and because of circumstances end up marrying and falling in love with a warrior from then. It stretches out through many years and real life wars and it's very good. I didn't used to be much of a reader, but after Brianna was born I started to read more often.

Even though it is officially spring, the weather hasn't been co-operating. It's still been cold and snowy. We've ahad a few days above zero, but nothing to significantly melt any snow. We just get a bunch of puddles that end up freezing and being hazardous. I'm really looking forward to warm weather being permanent. The last two winters here didn't really bother me, but this one has been really long and I'm done with it. My brain is telling me it's spring, though, and I feel my spirits lifting slightly and I'm thinking of spring cleaning. We have the week after Easter off so I'm hoping that along with a trip to the mountains to ski and a trip to the Calgary zoo that I can do some purging around the apartment. I usually enjoy that (until I encounter spiders).

I'm hoping to make our eventual move back to Ontario easier by taking stock of what we have and what to keep or get rid of. I feel confident that the move will happen soon, but it drives me nuts not having a hard time line. We plan to have the application for the transfer in within the next month, but after that it will be out of our hands. We just hope that we don't have to wait to long and we'll be in Kingston by summer. I prefer summers there to here since there are better places to swim and camp. To me camping and swimming go hand-in-hand, but there isn't a lot of lakes here, and the few around aren't worth swimming in with all the pipe-lines running through the province. I hope to be visiting Sandbanks or Charleston Lake this summer.

Christmas Spirit

I am really looking forward to Christmas this year. Brianna will be able to appreciate it more and I love experiencing this for the first time again through her eyes. We went for a walk the other night to see how many Christmas lights were up and she would get so excited when she spotted another house. We're eagerly anticipating when Candycane Lane is all lit up close to our house so we can walk over and see the abundance of lights. It's just a neighbourhood that has been getting into the spirit for years and it's a tradition for thousands of people to come and see it.

We'll be putting our Christmas tree up next weekend and I hope to get some holiday baking done too. Scott has been busy making Christmas cd's with our favourite classics so we can play them while we're doing everything together.

Scott and I both have the week between Christmas and New Year's off and it will be nice to spend that time together as a family. We're hoping to make it to Jasper for a couple nights so Scott can ski and Bree and I can do some wintery stuff around town.